It is absolutely unacceptable for someone to force you to have sex with them, and if you lost your virginity to this type of experience, you are not alone. I think a part of me wanted to punish myself for falling for it, and another part was just so desperate for the attention that I gave myself up to him. However, the majority of women are not experiencing sexual dysfunction; we just haven't been given great sex education. I had a blue lightbulb in the ceiling light of my bedroom. He asked me if I wanted to have sex, and I agreed. I texted him Friday afternoon, saying that I would be home alone and that he could come over if he wanted to. Until I got it.
For me this was exciting.
15 People Open Up About the Cringe-Worthy Ways They Lost Their Virginities
I didn't know how to prepare for sex or even how sex really worked because porn just gets into it without showing any of the behind-the-scenes stuff. I got to his house and figured out that I was really good at mentally checking out. I moved my thigh between her legs and she moaned. The whole thing lasted no longer than an hour and he drove me back home and we rarely spoke again afterwards. I walked back home, snuck in and showered before falling asleep until my alarm went off for school. I did not want to bottom, but at the same time I was so excited, I just wanted to get over all this sexual tension between us, so I agreed to bottom. It ended up getting out of hand with over people showing up.